Post by river on Jul 1, 2009 17:33:05 GMT -5
•I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian!
•Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good.
•A dog looks up to humans. A cat looks down on people. But a pig will look a human in the eye and see its equal.
•You wouldn't recognize a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked upon a harpsichord singing "Subtle Plans are Here Again."
•The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
•What is the worst thing in the world? I'll tell you what. It's being strapped into a dark car playing very staticky country music on an AM station while slowly driving around and around the town. I myself would prefer death by screwdriver.
•Smile, dammit!
•Always check for ferrets before sitting.
•The only way you'll get laid is to crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
•Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.
•Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative.
•When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.
•It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
•Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good.
•A dog looks up to humans. A cat looks down on people. But a pig will look a human in the eye and see its equal.
•You wouldn't recognize a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked upon a harpsichord singing "Subtle Plans are Here Again."
•The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
•What is the worst thing in the world? I'll tell you what. It's being strapped into a dark car playing very staticky country music on an AM station while slowly driving around and around the town. I myself would prefer death by screwdriver.
•Smile, dammit!
•Always check for ferrets before sitting.
•The only way you'll get laid is to crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
•Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.
•Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative.
•When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.
•It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
